Writer's Block

That mixture of enthusiasm, relief and joy coming together all at once at that moment of self-expression that was held in for so long is only a glimpse of what life should be all about. Sometimes you find yourself lagging behind as the sequence of events keeps dragging you places while you're not able to process everything that keeps changing around you as they do, which usually causes the detainment of some of your thoughts and emotions for so long, you almost lose track of who you are, where you're at, what you're doing and who you're doing it with. You get lost in your own life. But, you shouldn't let all of this get to you, you shouldn't let stress get to you, walk through your life at your own pace. Take control. Every now and then, get something accomplished for yourself, but by all means, always take all the time you need to recharge and enjoy yourself, take the time to redefine yourself and reevaluate everything around you, and within you. Every now and then, go for an early morning walk, or run or jog, whatever works for you. Call up an old friend and hang out to catch up with them. Go sit alone on a bench somewhere and listen to your favorite music while watching the sun while it sets. Set yourself free. Put off all the life-sucking technologies around you and sign out from all your social networks. Go explore the surrounding around you. Get in touch with untamed nature; go camping for a few days somewhere in the wilderness where you can hear your own thoughts clearly. Give yourself a break from all the shit you're going through in your life and get to know yourself a bit better. Set yourself free. Break those non-existent chains in that imaginary cell you're locking yourself in and go out there and start living now. Don't worry, life is supposed to be overwhelming. Just breathe. 

Long Gone and Moved On

They crossed my mind. I was considering calling them, but I didn't. I don't know why I didn't. But, I didn't. A long time has passed, that we lost count of it. Too many things have changed. We should no longer look back, but ahead instead. Because, eventually, you reach that point in your life when you have to take crucial decisions regarding who's staying and who's leaving, who's worth the extra mile and who isn't. All while keeping in mind the limitations of your emotional capacity that controls how much of that mile you're capable of going. Yet again, maybe the best thing to do is to move far away from here. Putting everything behind our backs and moving on with our lives, because the place is no longer livable; there are way too many unresolved matters, too many places attached with memories shared with our loved ones, and no signs of any change in the near future. It's not entirely about the place though, it's about the people. It has always been about them, the place just speeds up the process after it gets too smudged by people. One may seem all tough and in-control of everything most of the time, but at the end of the day we're all humans; 

We're all as weak. 

We're all vulnerable. 

We're all finite. 

Here's to You

Here's to those days,
to the nights of those days,
and to the tomorrows that lay ahead of those days.
Here's to a patient love,
to heartbroken handshakes.
Here's to patience,
Here's to faith.
Here's to authenticity,
Spontaneity and to straightforwardness.

Here's to me.

Here's to you. 

Saints & Demons

"Only in our solitude, in those moments of deep silence in the darkness of a similar night do we find ourselves. We, only then, get in touch with our souls and converse with our inner demons. Saints oversee us, but times like these require the brutal, and they were not pleased. They've been kept locked for so long, and they demand to be released."

As I take a moment to analyze this very brief paragraph, I assume that some may see it insignificant; with no meaning nor worth, just a bunch of words put together to form a non-meaningful, non-purposeful paragraph. Some may relate to it, and some may even admire the depth and ambiguity poured into this set of carefully-chosen, well-arranged words shaping the charged paragraph. Maybe it's because they know ambiguity always protects and shells the scarred. If it is anything, it's a form of whining.

One can whine and blabber all day about how shitty their life is, but the truth is, it won't change that fact. It may even make it worse. What did words ever accomplish? Sure, they may help you pour a piece of your mind, of your heart in some occasions, but seriously, what are they good for? Unless you're an aspiring writer, or make some sort of use of your words, this form of phrasing is most probably good form nothing. If this is true, which is probably the case, then this piece of writing is useless, which is also true. But, this blog would have had no existence if this form of phrasing was worthless. Is it useless? Yes. Is it good for nothing? Yes. Will it accomplish anything? Well, if it doesn't help in the making of a best-selling book, then no. Is it valuable though? Is it worthwhile? Definitely, yes. I don't know about any other individual who writes, but for me, it helps me build a fair opinion about things. It often guides me through difficult times, helps me become more aware of things and speeds the process of overcoming misfortunes. So, have your conversations with your inner demons. Always listen to your saints. If you haven't found them yet, keep looking. They exist, and they want to be found; just dig deep. You can even write about it if you wish, but the goal is to always get in touch with yourself; always stay in touch with your soul. It's your only savior, your best friend and your everything. 

M. 7

Growing up I learned to always keep my feet on the ground; to know exactly where I stand in life, to always keep my head always up in the clouds, my heart full of faith in what I believe in, and believe in my values and principles. I also learned that maturity comes not by age, not by education, but by what you go through in life. After everything you go through, you understand something, a piece of the puzzle is unveiled, and the more you understand the more aware of things you become. You become more accepting and you feel for people; you become a better person; you mature. You get to know your own self better, which helps you deal better with the people around you. Life becomes easier. So, it's always better to be open to diversity, to differences, to strangeness and to oddness. It's always better to be ready for change, for adapting and for compromising. Simplicity is the best way to go; it is better to live a simple human being than a complex one. Nonetheless, it also is better to be mysterious and unpredictable. The goal is to be simple, not naive. Connect only with the ones you want to connect with, but always know how to handle all people, be kind to all people.

When was the last time you did something for someone? A simple, yet a meaningful act of kindness?
If nothing comes to you instantly, or even worse after giving it some thought, you need to get out of your safe, annoying, lifeless comfort zone you're living in and go do it right now. Because those little things are the ones that matter the most in life. You get to decide what you want to do with your own life and how you want to do it, never let anyone decide that for you. Listen to those who enjoy richer experiences, but only for the purpose of guidance, for advice. Take your own decisions and learn to deal with their consequences.
Be realistic, yet adventurous. Be brave, yet rational. 

Flee

Flee silently, slowly, smoothly and with no turning back.
Flee with no regrets, no hard feelings, no grudges and no broken promises.
Flee with no goodbyes nor farewells.
Flee coldly, unexpectedly and instantaneously.
Flee. For your freedom lies elsewhere.
Flee, but not because you failed

Flee, because your burning desire to achieve much more is immeasurable.

Flee, because your hungry soul craves for more.
Flee now.
Flee forever. 

What makes you Egyptian?

On the way to college, it's around 60 to 90 minutes drive, I caught myself trying to find things that make me Egyptian. I've always been a fan of analyzing human behavior/activity within my limited scope, and comparing it to mine. It helps me relate better to 'society' and understand people, sometimes even predict certain actions from certain people. I usually feel like I don't belong though, so it was an interesting thought, and I actually found numerous things. I'm not talking about those you acquire as a result from being raised in the society, no, deeper character traits. Things that make you Egyptian are the ones you'd still be/have even if you weren't raised in Egypt. I've never been a fan of nationalism, and surely not a fan of this country, but I can't overlook nor deny the ligaments attaching me to it. Because of those things, I am Egyptian, and that's something that will always stay with me wherever I go. It surely is nothing to be ashamed of (and considering the current circumstances, nor to be proud of either), but that's what it is. You can only embrace it, and be at peace with it. You don't always have to agree with your people, but you always have to respect them. Customs and traditions are usually a bunch of crap. But, they lead to these cultural beliefs that represent sacred "life guidelines", especially in middle-eastern societies, such as our beloved Egyptian one, we cherish them. It gets irritating and defies logic and common sense at times, but when looking at the bigger picture you can see they organize and systematize the society. Create this firm set of ground rules that almost everyone follows. They create stronger ties between people which lead to a more connected society, they basically created our 'culture'. So, after you bothered reading over 300 words you find yourself at the end of this short piece of writing with no answer to the question in its title, which may be frustrating, but the answer differs from one person to the other and that's why my answer wasn't included. 

Have your say! 

Cornelia

When you find yourself sitting alone, in a quiet room just listening to your clear, frank thoughts in a silent talk, you find a goal you're probably never going to reach, a story you're never tired of telling, a journey you'll never make and you feel a non-ending nostalgia. Although your imagination takes you to that beautiful, marvelous world that only exists there, where that goal is reached, the story becomes a reality and the journey has been made, it exhausts you mentally because you're really staying where you are. You only watch time passing by and the sound of any ticking clock just irritates you. Perplexity starts taking place and questions like why? And when? Start imposing themselves. You're never really satisfied with the answers you find, but eventually, a certain event occurs and you blame yourself for how much you question things, because when you fairly look at things from diverse, different perspectives you can only be grateful for everything. The human soul is, by nature, curious, ambitious and hungry but can also get greedy and grasping. Only the ones who enjoy a decent amount of self-control and self-awareness can live comfortably at peace with themselves.