The Irony of Life

Half a day off, and I find myself sorrowed. Having busy days and always having things to do takes your mind off a lot of shit. On the contrary, having nothing to do allows your mind/imagination to over-think lame insignificant issues or even worse create some. But since when do we get what we need, when we need it? This shouldn't be a surprise. The routine I’m stuck in keeps getting more suffocating by the day. That strong desire for radical change is becoming stronger while hope is fading and faith is vanishing. You know you’re lost when you're always waiting for something, always looking for something, and not heading anywhere. This feeling of loss and uncertainty is purely coming from within, mainly due to the fact that I often doubt my existence in this specific place and at this specific time, just as often as I question my belonging. It usually is not the fear of failure, but the fear of success that keeps us from becoming who we aspire to become or achieve what we strive to achieve, and life has taught me that the more you get obsessed with something, the further you push it away from you. That strong desire for change is becoming an obsession and is backfiring at me with more routine. As the eye sees only what the soul desires to see, I could only see that we all live in a hollow, pointless life cycle. Which is not the case. I still find something alluring about the sight of an open road; a glimpse of freedom, a sense of adventure and mystery. But, throughout the course of life, we often have to stop, take a step back and reflect. We have to make sense of the nonsense, find sequence and order in vagueness. The destination would most likely be the realization of the potential passion that's been waiting on hold for too long. Or even better, the merge of that potential passion with one of the already discovered ones. The problem is, I'm just too eager. I can't wait to reach my destination, but I'm certain that I'm on the right track. Patience, persistence, courage and faith are usually all we need to keep moving forward.